Tuesday, April 24, 2012
IVF: People have asked me.....
People have asked me in the past if you really want children this much, what if you find out that it's not going to happen even with the IVF would you leave Andy? They have said that if the difficulty was with their husband they don't think they could stay. That they would find someone else to have their future with. I have friends that whilst having all the tests had said that they hope their is something wrong with them as they don't know if they could stay if it was their husbands.
This is not an option for me. Yes I do want children with all my heart, I do want to be a mum and hold and love and nurture our child. To watch Andy be the amazing dad that i know he will be. In fact I cant see a future without children but I want this WITH my husband. Yes it tears me apart every day and I worry about it constantly. It's heartbreaking and soul destroying. It's biggest challenge we as individuals and our relationship has ever faced. All we can do is love eachother, be kind to eachother, be patient with eachother as we process our feelings and heal our hearts at each setback. We have to hope, be healthy and do the IVF. Because being without my Andy is not an option either.
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I'm so excited/nervous to start my blog....
It seems apt that I should start my blog on the first day of National Infertility Awareness Week. Well it is in the Us. I am in the UK but a lot of my friends from YouTube are in the US. Do we have anything like this in the UK? I will have to look into it.
So, this is my first random blog post, if you are reading this you may well have read the story so far and seen the live version of events in my videos. I'm more nervous about writing than I was recording videos!
I hope you will join me on our journey. If I have learnt one thing from my YouTube channel, it's that friends and support goes a long way. It helps just knowing you are not alone.
I will give an honest real time account of the onward journey of our, so far, 4 year roller coaster that is infertility and IVF and I'm happy to help answer any questions you may have (if I can!). I will be upfront about my thoughts and feelings.
As with my videos I will throw in some random/ fun stuff along the way, make up videos, product reviews, videos of our little dogs and some fun TAG videos or anything else you would like to see.
Well, it's gone midnight, I'm excited about my blog but I must put it down and get some sleep.
Baby dust to you!
Chele
Xxx
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Monday, April 23, 2012
Our Story So Far.....
Andy and I married in May 2008. We immediately began trying for a baby. We tried naturally for about a year with no success so I went to the GP for tests. I had blood tests and they all came back ok. The GP would not test anything further with me until they ruled out any problems with Andy by doing a semen analysis. It took some months to convince Andy to go for tests, he has since said that he was delaying it as he was so worried about the outcome. Andy's results came back showing there was 0 sperm in his semen. This condition is known as Azoospermia. They then performed an ultrasound on Andy. We were told at this point that we would not be able to have children together, this was devastating. Meanwhile I had a HSG, where dye is flushed through the fallopian tubes to check for blockages. This came back fine, We were then referred for IVF in September 2010. We had various consultations and were due to start IVF in November/December 2010. We went to our co-ordination appointment and at this point were told that Andy tested positive as being a carrier for Cystic Fybrosis and that this would most likely be the cause of his Azoospermia, non-obstructive Azoospermia. The IVF cycle was then put on hold as they had to test me for Cystic Fybrosis. If both partners carry the gene there is a high risk of their child having Cystic Fybrosis. This was a worrying time as this could have meant again that we wouldnt be able to proceed with the IVF due to the high risk factor if I was also a carrier. I had a blood test and we waited two weeks for the results, thankfully I was not showing as a carrier. They only check 23 parts of the gene as there are hundreds of different mutations but they considered us low risk as it suggested I didn't carry the gene. They concluded then also that Andy's Azoospermia was attributed to the absence of the Vas Defrens. We were given the go ahead to proceed with IVF. On 14th February 2011 Andy had a surgical sperm retrieval proceedure, hoping they could find some sperm to freeze so that we could have the IVF. They found loads!!! This was the best news ever!!! I started my Buserelin injections for our first cycle on 28th April 2011. for our first cycle on 28th April 2011. We had one blastocyst transferred as we were only allowed to have one on our first cycle. Early June, the result was in. We were pregnant! We were so happy I cannot put it into words. This happiness soon ended when at 9 weeks we went for a scan and were told that there was no heartbeat and that we had a missed miscarriage and that I would imminently miscarry. 2 weeks later and the miscarriage still hadn't happened so we opted for medical management. This resulted in an incomplete miscarriage and I ended up having to have a d&c at 14 weeks in August 2011. We had various check ups etc and in November I was told that's there we're adhesions from the d&c and that I needed to have them removed before we proceeded with another cycle. I had a procedure to remove the adhesions in December 2011. We started cycle number 2 in February 2012. After 2 weeks on Buserelin they discovered I had a cyst on my left ovary which had to be removed before I could move on to the Gonal-f. The cyst was removed and then everything seemed to be going ok. I had my egg collection on 19th march 2012 and they collected 16 eggs. On 20th march the hospital called to say that 4 of the 16 had fertilised (we had ICSI with both cycles). They said that they would call me back on Thursday 22nd to let me know progress and whether the transfer would be on the Friday or Saturday. They called me on 22nd to say that unfortunately all of the embryos had stopped developing. Again our world was shattered. Andy and I went on holiday to have some time together and regroup and gain some strength to do it again. We came back from holiday last Thursday 5th April and I'm currently awaiting and appointment with the hospital to review the cycle and see what happens next. Please follow our journey and please contact me if you have any questions, I am always happy to help. Babydust to everyone!! Chele xxxx
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Our Story so far.......
Andy and I married in May 2008.
We immediately began trying for a baby.
We tried naturally for about a year with no success so I went to the GP for tests.
I had blood tests and they all came back ok. The GP would not test anything further with me until they ruled out any problems with Andy by doing a semen analysis.
It took some months to convince Andy to go for tests, he has since said that he was delaying it as he was so worried about the outcome.
Andy's results came back showing there was 0 sperm in his
semen. This condition is known as Azoospermia.
They then performed an ultrasound on Andy.
We were told at this point that we would not be able to have children together, this was devastating.
Meanwhile I had a HSG, where dye is flushed through the fallopian tubes to check for blockages. This came back fine,
We were then referred for IVF in September 2010.
We had various consultations and were due to start IVF in November/December 2010.
We went to our co-ordination appointment and at this point were told that Andy tested positive as being a carrier for Cystic Fybrosis and that this would most likely be the cause of his Azoospermia, non-obstructive Azoospermia.
The IVF cycle was then put on hold as they had to test me for Cystic Fybrosis. If both partners carry the gene there is a high risk of their child having Cystic Fybrosis. This was a worrying time as this could have meant again that we wouldnt be able to proceed with the IVF due to the high risk factor if I was also a carrier.
I had a blood test and we waited two weeks for the results, thankfully I was not showing as a carrier. They only check 23 parts of the gene as there are hundreds of different mutations but they considered us low risk as it suggested I didn't carry the gene.
They concluded then also that Andy's Azoospermia was attributed to the absence of the Vas Defrens.
We were given the go ahead to proceed with IVF.
On 14th February 2011 Andy had a surgical sperm retrieval proceedure, hoping they could find some sperm to freeze so that we could have the IVF.
They found loads!!! This was the best news ever!!!
I started my Buserelin injections for our
first cycle on 28th April 2011.
for our first cycle on 28th April 2011.
We had one blastocyst transferred as we were only allowed to have one on our first cycle.
Early June, the result was in. We were pregnant!
We were so happy I cannot put it into words.
This happiness soon ended when at 9 weeks we went for a scan and were told that there was no heartbeat and that we had a missed miscarriage and that I would imminently miscarry.
2 weeks later and the miscarriage still hadn't happened so we opted for medical management. This resulted in an incomplete miscarriage and I ended up having to have a d&c at 14 weeks in August 2011.
We had various check ups etc and in November I was told that's there we're adhesions from the d&c and that I needed to have them removed before we proceeded with another cycle. I had a procedure to remove the adhesions in December 2011.
We started cycle number 2 in February 2012. After 2 weeks on Buserelin they discovered I had a cyst on my left ovary which had to be removed before I could move on to the Gonal-f.
The cyst was removed and then everything seemed to be going ok.
I had my egg collection on 19th march 2012 and they collected 16 eggs. On 20th march the hospital called to say that 4 of the 16 had fertilised (we had ICSI with both cycles). They said that they would call me back on Thursday 22nd to let me know progress and whether the transfer would be on the Friday or Saturday.
They called me on 22nd to say that unfortunately all of the embryos had stopped developing.
Again our world was shattered.
Andy and I went on holiday to have some time together and regroup and gain some strength to do it again.
We came back from holiday last Thursday 5th April and I'm currently awaiting and appointment with the hospital to review the cycle and see what happens next.
Please follow our journey and please contact me if you have any questions, I am always happy to help.
Babydust to everyone!!
Chele
xxxx
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