Infertility Hope and Inspiration : Mrs B's Story of Loss, IVF, PGD

DH and me met when I was 17, he was 18. Who knew those two naive kids would face so much pain.

"I fell pregnant at 24, we were so happy. At 18wks, we found out the baby had cystic fibrosis, during a scan the scanographer also mentioned the babies bones were all deformed. We were devestated. At 20wks we lost our little boy. We named him Callum, to us he was perfect.
The hospital sent his and our DNA to a clinic in France & it was discovered he also had hypophosphastasia, the perinatel kind, which our baby, had he reached full term would never have survived the birth, if he did he wouldn't last much longer. Both DH and I were carriers.
So, during this pregnancy we discovered we were carriers of two genetic disorders and our chance of having a healthy baby naturally were slim.

The following year I fell pregnant again, at 11wks we had the CVS test and discovered our little girl was affected by both conditions again. Devestated. We chose to end the pregnancy, I simply could not face having to give birth again to a baby that would not survive, the first time nearly broke me. A "friend" was very vocal telling me she was disgusted at our decision, this broke my heart, my little girl would die either being born or within hours after, why couldn't she understand this?

After a year, I spoke to my doctor, advised I wanted to try this PGD the hospital consultant had spoke about. The wheels where set in motion.
When I was 28 we were contacted by Care Fertility, they advised they could do PGD but had never tested for hypophosphastasia, but their other clinic in Chicago would create a test using our DNA for us. Wow. I was thrilled, kept thinking within a year we will have out baby. How wrong was I.
It took Genysis (Chicago) a year to develop a test for both our conditions, then the tests had to go to court for the governing bodies to agree for us to have this performed on embryos. This took a further 10 months.
In January 2010 we were given the green light. We started the IVF medication in February, had EC and our embryos were tested. Unfortunately as this was the first time Care had tested for hypophosphastasia it took them longer and we missed the chance for a fresh transfer. From this cycle we had 6 healthy embryos!
In April we had FET, 1 embryo defrosted and transferred. Unfortunately it was a BFN, we also lost DHs mum. Tough times.
September - 2 defrosted, 1 survived and transferred. BFN
November - 3 defrosted, 1 survived and transferred. BFN
I can't explain how I felt, I just kept thinking I can get pregnant naturally but not through this????? Didn't make sense to me.
Moving on to cycle 2, in 2011 we gave it another go, and in march we found that we only had 1 healthy embryo from this cycle, but we were in time for a fresh cycle. 2 weeks later after the transfer I tested, BFP! Within an hour I was bleeding, not heavy and not enough to cause the clinic concern but I knew, I just knew it was all over. My HCG levels were tested by my EPU and were rising but not doubling. Care gave me a scan at 7 weeks, it was confirmed it was all over and my HCG levels were decreasing. Waiting to miscarry and pass my baby, as to me it WAS a baby was awful. But I survived, like I always do.
We were SO lucky our NHS PCT agreed to fund a third cycle, so after a holiday relaxing in Jamaica I was ready to start again.
Started the drugs at the end of September, we had 3 healthy embryos. I had the "strongest" embryo transferred, BFN AGAIN!
FFS I was ready to throw it all in, I can't to this again I kept saying, I'm just not strong enough.
After Xmas, I kept thinking of those 2 embryos and I decided I had to give them a chance.
I remember these dates so clearly, 16th February 2012 I had 1 thawed and transferred, 29th February I tested and it was BFP. I can't say I was ecstatic, I was happy dont get me wrong but I was also petrified. So so scared it would happen again.
My GP was amazing, he knew my history and signed me off work until I was 9wks pregnant!
I had 2 scans at Care, one at 6wks and another at 8wks. They were amazing too, agreeing to scan me earlier than normal and again 2wks later. They were all so happy for us, I really do believe they felt our pains and our joy during our journey. Anyway, back to my pregnancy, I couldn't relax, I ended up at our EPU twice just for reassurance scans! One at 9wks and another at 11wks. We had to have the CVS test too, even with the PGD as the percentage of misdiagnosis was 5%. That was came back clear and we found out it was a little boy. Still couldn't relax, had another scan at 14wks and again at 15!
At our 20wk scan we were told baby was perfect but my placenta was covering the cervix - complete placenta previa, they told me it would move by 30wks and to come for another scan. No biggie I thought, we can do this.
30wks, saw a young consultant, he was very reassuring, saying still covering but will definately move no need to worry. Fair enough. I had to go back at 35wks for another scan to check the placenta, this time the lady consultant was furious, I apparently should have been under hospital supervision since 20wks due to the placenta, it still hadn't moved, she wanted me to go straight to the maternity unit and stay there until the baby arrived. I said no chance I was TOO busy lol! I agreed to go into hospital at 36wks on the promise if there was any bleeding I would go in straight away. Baby was booked in for a csection at 38wks. I was told I could not under any circumstances have a natural birth, too risky. If labour started or any bleeding apparently only one of us would likely survive. Wow, it then sunk in exactly how dangerous this was.
Those 2wks in hospital were the longest ever, watching women come in and leave with their baby within 1 or two days, I was DESPERATE to meet my little man.
The day before my csection, the doctors came, measured me for surgery socks, ordered my blood incase a transfusion was required (I'm rhesus negative) and I signed consent forms.
The next morning I was so excited, was up and ready to go by 5 haha, DH arrived at 7 and we were taken to the labour ward at 9.
At 10:01 my little prince was delivered, a 7lb 9oz bundle of gorgeousness! I fell completely head over heels in love.
There were complications with me following the surgery but I won't go into that.
Sorry it's so long winded, I didn't want to miss out anything.
I'm so in love with this little man, he's my entire world, the love of my life and I worship him.
I don't know if I will use the other embryo, I feel so blessed and fortunate to have Finlay I think I should quit whilst I'm ahead. But that's something me and DH really need to discuss.

But miracles really do happen, all those obstacles we crossed, all the heartache and tears, they were totally worth it.
Infertility covers a wide spectrum and all I have to say is :
You did NOT win, you did NOT beat me.
I am strong and I'm a survivor and I am the proud mummy of the most precious little boy. "

EDIT:
If you would like to chat with Mrs B you can find her on Twitter @FinlayBsMummy

thank you so much for sharing honey

Love Chele
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