Chele Nic's Blog: 2012

Wednesday, August 01, 2012

Revlon Just Bitten Kissable Balm Stains - Review

I have so much love for Revlon right now. First there was the Lip Butters and now these beauties!

I had my beady eyes on these for some time while beauty bloggers were raving about them in the US. I couldn't wait for them to come over here to the UK. As soon as they landed in Boots last month I ran out of the door during my lunch break to grab some. I was not disappointed.

The Balm Stains are currently on offer in Boots for £5.99 but will then sell for £7.99 so if you want them go and grab the bargain. I believe they are available in 7 shades.

I have these in two shades:
020 Lovesick (a magenta pink)
040 Rendevouz ( a vibrant orange)

I won this last month in a competition on Twitter. This was exciting as I never win anything. I have wanted to try F.A.B products for a while so I was delighted!

This is the full size if 226.8g and is £10 in Boots.

My first impression was that I love the no fuss packaging. It tells you all you need to now on the front of the bottle and keeps the information concise and simple.

This body wash is good for dry, sensitive or reactive skin. It helps to calm the skin and improve moisture retention.

I also love that there are no parabens, harsh chemicals or colourants in this.

There is not much of a scent to this at all it just smells fresh and 'clean' as the name suggests.

Review: Spa Find Calmit Extract Intensive Anti-ageing

I was lucky to be sent this product but I must state that I was under no obligation to write a review.

I really enjoyed using this so I wanted to share my thoughts with you and now that I have had this for a while and used this product up I am keen to share my opinion.

My first impression was how beautiful the packaging is. It looks expensive and I would be happy to receive this as a gift. When I opened the box I was I intrigued by the three glass bottles. This looked really unique to me, like nothing I had seen before. I expected this to be of a facial oil consistency but on inspection it is more watery than oily. It has a very slight and gentle floral scent.

This product landed on my doorstep at exactly the right time. My skin was in a worse state than I think it had ever been. I must be insane showing you this but here is a picture that I took of my skin on the day that I received this:

WARNING: SCARY PICTURE!

Yay I'm so excited to receive my first blog award and it's from a blogger that I love reading, Twinmumm yanddaddy! Thank you so so much!

The Liebster Blog Award is given to bloggers by bloggers. It is a way to acknowledge each other and say “you’re doing a great job”. It is for blogs with 200 or less followers, so it’s also a great way to spread the word about smaller blogs and get them more readers and followers!

When you receive the award, you post 11 random facts about yourself and answer 11 questions from the person(s) who nominated you. You pass the Award onto 11 other blogs (make sure you tell them you nominated them!) and ask them 11 questions. You’re not allowed to nominate the blog(s) who nominated you! (To get the button, right click the picture on my page and save the picture to your computer. You can then upload to your blog.)

11 Random Facts

1. I know all the words to Ice Ice Baby and Boom Shake the Room

2. I was an Irish Dancing Champion when I was 10

3. Massive Take That fan since I was around 11and have seen them in concert about 8 times, including 3 nights in a row!

4. I hate ironing

5. I have an OCD when it's comes to duvet covers. I can't stand it if the covers are not flat inside the duvet, need no lumps or bumps. Or if there is a bit of cover at the top with just sheet and no duvet inside ahhhh!

6. I hated marmite until about 2 years ago but now love cheese and marmite toasties or bagels

7. I have started reading the Hobbit probably 3 or 4 times between ages of 10 -20 and never finished it. One day I will finish that book!

8. I bite my nails but really wish I didn't!

9. Love watching old black and white films with Elvis, Audrey Hepburn, Marylin Monroe and Doris Day in them

10. I am soooooo bad at getting up in the morning, it doesn't matter what time I have to get up, I just want to stay there

11. I love red wine

Questions from twimmummyanddaddy

1. What is your favourite animal?

Dogs and dolphins, I can't choose one! Oh and I'd love a micro pig!

2. What did you want to be when you were a child?

A popstar

3. What do you enjoy most about blogging?

Getting my thoughts out of my head and interacting with lots of people that I wouldn't have known otherwise and putting our IVF journey out there so others can see they are not alone and throwing in a bit of fun with makeup etc to lighten the load.

4. Twitter or Facebook?

Twitter

5. Are you right or left handed?

Right handed

6. What was the name of your first pet?

Bit and Bot (2 hamsters)

7. Do you have any hobbies?

Blogging, making YouTube videos, hoarding makeup and snuggling my pups!

8. Can you play a musical instrument?

I Learnt guitar years ago think I can still play pink panther and knees up mother brown

9. If you were stranded on a desert island what would be your one luxury item?

My iPad but if there was no wifi on that island then probably a large supply of crisps or sunscreen assuming the island is in a hot climate!

10. Do you have any pets?

I have a Jack Russell called Sammy and a miniature dauschund called Lyla

11. What's the healthiest thing in your fridge?

Lots and lots of fruit and veg!

My 11 questions to you

1. Why did you start blogging?

2. What Is your favourite food?

3. If you could have a superpower for a day what would it be?

4. If you could trade places with someone else for a day who would you choose?

5. What is your pet hate?

6. What makes you smile?

7. What is your dream job?

8.If you could invent a flavour of crisps what flavour would they be

9.What Is your favourite song?

10. What is your best trait?

11. What is your worst trait?

Here are the 11 bloggers that I am nominating for this award (In no particular order)

Lynn-BabySteps

Juic yjuce

Twinglam

Timetob em ommy

Sonyacisco

IVFPgd-hope 2011

Someone Else's Baby

Notevena

FamilyDreams

The Domestic Princess

Ozivfchick

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Thursday, July 12, 2012

IVF Has Taught Me.......

It's very difficult to explain effectively what it is really like to be in this situation and I don't think you could KNOW what it feels like if you haven't been here. Can you really know what it is like to face life without a family when it's all you really want? (some people want to be rock stars, movie stars, billionaires .... I just want to be a mummy and for Andy to be a daddy, so not asking much are we really). Or to Know what it's like to continually go through these invasive procedures to have any chance of becoming a family? What it is like to think you have got there and then to loose your precious baby? And then after all that, pick yourself up and try again and again.....whilst trying not to let it affect your marriage, to see your partner suffering and try to help you while you are suffering and have no idea how to help him, to get up every day and face the world and keep on top of things at work and at home. Do you ever feel like some people expect you just to "forget about it", "move on", "get over it", "put it behind you"? Or feel like you aren't given credit for what you are managing to do despite all this? Anyway, are some things I am learning along the way.....

Patience

I used to wish my life away- cant wait until the weekend, can't wait until my holiday etc. I don't really think like this now and try to live in real time. Work through day to day as it is without thinking too much about next week, next month.

Time is precious

I also used to build up so much anxiety weeks before cycles, appoinments, test results etc. spending weeks beforehand going over it all in my head and worrying about it. What will they say, what will the result be. Even with things like Andy going away. I would spend weeks or months thinking, what's it gonna be like when he's away, I'm going to be sad, it's going to be horrible. Again now I don't worry about these things until they happen, in that timeframe, in that moment. This has also made me a lot calmer and I don't worry so much until the occasion arises, ie I won't think about an appointment until the day is upon us.

Communicate, communicate, communicate!

Andy is my rock. He is so supportive. We have learnt to communicate much more about our feelings throughout this process. I think at the beginning we were both dealing with things in our own ways and were perhaps very insular with our feelings. It has not been easy but overtime we have both opened up more and are able to speak to eachother about how we feel. I think at the beginning we didn't want to say things for fear of upsetting eachother. I guess you have to be careful about how you say things but it is important that you do express you feelings.

You can't plan everything

I have always been an avid planner. I wanted to know what we were doing and when. Even as far ahead as next year. Things obviously haven't turned out the way we planned. You have to just roll with it. You can have an idea of what you would like to happen but perpare for the obstacles. The downside to this though is my usual organised and prepared self has gone out of the window. I will pack for holiday the day before instead of weeks ahead, I will make hair/beauty/dental apps at the last possible moment. To be honest I kind of like it this way. I just feels a bit more relaxed.

You learn who is really "there for you"

I don't think I need to elaborate on this one. Some don't "get it" but some don't even try to.

Appreciation/don't take anything for granted

Give yourself and eachother credit for getting though. You and your partner know more than anyone how all this feels so be kind to eachother. Tell eachother you are proud of them. Tell them you appreciate them for being there, for being strong or even just for getting through the day. Or even for putting up with your wobbles. I am proud to have Andy by my side. We are a team, in this together, getting on and getting through with the same goal in mind. We will get there, together and stronger.

I wouldn't even try to justify why this is happening to us and it's easy to say everything happens for a reason. But when the thing that is happening is this major sometimes it's hard to stick to that belief even if you do usually believe it. I will however say that sometimes I wonder if this is happening to us to teach us something and to make us grow. Whether I can truly believe this in the darkest hours (miscarriage/failed cycle) sometimes I like to reflect on what I have learnt from this and the positive things it has bought out in me. Whatever gets you through I guess.

What gets you through?

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Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Sammy & Lyla's Review of ScruffyChops Shampoo & Conditioner

Sammy and Lyla were very lucky and spoilt little pooches to have recently been sent a sample of the Scruffy Dogs Rhubarking Mad Natural Mineral Shampoo and Muddy Marvellous Dead Sea Mud Conditioner.

They had a very lovely time in the bath (as you will see from the pictures) and wanted me to share there experience of using these products so that other pooches can have beautiful soft coats and gorgeous smelling bath times too.

I'm a reall sniffer when it comes to products, any products. The more amazing smelling the better. My hubby is not. He gets annoyed with me constantly shoving fabric conditioner, perfume, shampoo, body lotions etc under his nose to sniff but even he loved these ScruffyChops products!

So first, the shampoo. This smells, as the name suggests, like rhubarb and custard. It's like being in a sweetshop! This scent filled the bathroom, it even overtook that damp dog smell. Anyone with dogs will know that smell!

Now the conditioner. This was my favourite. The coconut scent is amazing. The consistency is great, I even rubbed in into my dry hands (is that weird?)to see how moisturing it is and boy is it moisturising.

After bath time and some drying off I have to say my pooches smelt beautiful! My pups have very different coats and after bath time Sammys coat was so fluffy and soft (and white! while Lylas was soft and smooth. I put this down to the Dead Sea Mud in the conditioner.

These products contain 98% natural ingredients. They don't contain any harsh chemicals, surfaces, parabens and they are cruelty free.

The creators behind ScruffyChops have a mission:

"To create, distribute and sell the highest quality natural dog shampoos and other such splendid products that always benefit your dogs mind, body or soul. With a continued commitment to source and incorporate natural, wholesome ingredients while keeping our products innovative and fun and to have a great time doing it!"

I love to pamper my furry babies and I do use higher end shampoo products on them. I really love that these products are natural and actually good for their skin and fur. You can feel the difference. I will definately be buying this for my little nippers and I'm interested to try some more products from their range.

If you are interested you can check out Http://ScruffyChops.com but I have included the description from their website below if you would like to see the official info on these products.

I also feel I should mention that while Sammy and Lyla were lucky enough to be sent these items we were not obliged to write this review and if we chose to do so just to give our honest opinions of the products which I have have done. Believe me, if I wasnt keen on these products I would be letting you know that too!

The price is great too! It's lovely to know that someone wants to pamper your pooches as much as you do!

What pampering items do you like to use on your fur balls?

I'm off to snuggle my soft and sweet scented nippers now!

Chele

Rhubarking Mad
natural mineral dog shampoo 250ml
price £8.99

A yummy whiff of rhubarb & custard!
Paul’s dad used to put manure on his rhubarb, we just put custard on ours, it tastes better! Wash your dog in this stuff and as well as having a sparkling clean and healthy coat they will smell good enough to eat,(but don’t!)

98% natural ingredients and more good stuff than you can wave a stick at make Rhubarking Mad dogs shampoo the perfect choice! Dead Sea minerals, oatmeal and other great ingredients all work hard to help keep your dog’s skin healthy, hydrated and irritant free. Our dog shampoos won’t just take care of your dog’s skin but will leave your furry friend’s coat fresh and oh so soft. No harsh chemicals and cruelty free, means every bath time from now on will be a happy one!

Muddy Marvellous
mineral conditioner for dogs 250ml
price £9.99

A tropical whiff of coconut!
This stuff is awesome! With Dead Sea mud and minerals making it deeply hydrating and soothing. A marvellous conditioner for all dogs and super kind to dry skin, but it doesn’t stop there. We have also added oatmeal a favourite ingredient in the dog world with its natural properties that can help dry, itchy or irritated skin. This is to dogs what spinach is to Popeye!

Dead Sea mud and minerals, oatmeal, shea butter, aloe vera and jojoba seed oil all work hard to keep your dog’s skin healthy, hydrated and irritant free.

Friday, June 22, 2012

Please let me remember this.....

Andy is off to Afganistan on Monday. I couldn't sleep last night and had so many thoughts running through my mind. Here are my thoughts. For my Andy....

I'm laying here holding you close as you fall asleep
I'm trying to imprint this into my mind for when you're not here
I can feel the warmth of your back along my front
Our feet twisted together One hand in your hair
One hand stroking your arm
It's so warm in here but I don't want to move.
I need to remember this for when you are not here.
We take so much for granted, sleeping on other sides of the bed.
I guess we just know that we have other nights to cuddle together
Except we don't
I need to remember this
Your shallow breathing as you drift into sleep
The scent of you as my face nuzzles into your neck
Please let me remember this
Tomorrow night I'll ask you to cuddle me so I can remember that too.
For once I don't mind that your soft breathing is keeping me awake,
In a few days you won't be here to keep me awake.
Come back to me safely, always
I love you Xxx

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Why?

The Why post was originally set up by Mummy Central and my beautiful friend Lynn over on Baby Steps posted a great 'Why' blog today and tagged me in so that I could give it a go. Why not?

I'm writing these in the order they come to me with no editing, perhaps it says something about my thought processes.

Why am I stryggling to think of whys? I ask Andy a million "whys" a day, usually resulting in a sensible/logical answer and much fun poking my way.....

Why do fools fall in love, why do birds sing so gay?

Why must I be a teenager in love?

Why does your love hurt so much?

Why does someone else's dinner always look/ taste better than your own even when you are eating the same thing?

Why does tea taste better in a white mug? (ok is that just me)

Why do we always get a humungous spot on the day of an important event?

Why when we are supposed go to bed is it hard to get comfortable, yet we could sleep on a bed of nails when we are not supposed to be in bed?

Why are we wide awake stupid early on a weekend but super sleepy when the alarm goes off on a week day?

Why can't we sleep on the nights when we have to wake up extra early the following morning?

Why do we bump into our nemesis /ex the only time we go out without make up on?

Why are we late for work on the mornings when we leave the house earlier?

Why DID the chicken cross the road?

Why is it raining like this in June?

Why does it always rain on me?

Why do we go upstairs and forget what we went up there for?

Why do we always forget to get the chicken out of the freezer? (come on, I know you do)

Why do we make a gesture bringing our hand to our ear when referring to speaking with someone on the phone?

Why do men (some/most) sit on the tube with their legs spreadeagled?

Why do the annoying songs stick in our heads, not the good ones?

Why can't we put mascara on with our mouths closed? (if you have seen my face of make up challenge videos you have seen my freak mascara face)

Why do we have to yawn when someone else does?

Why cant we keep our eyes open when we sneeze?

Why do people say 'should of' instead of 'should have'?

Why, when the tv remote is not working do we press the buttons really hard and shake the remote thinking it will fix it?

Why do we have a sheet to cover our modesty during an internal scan? They are going to see it all anyway!

And while I was writing this post Andy came into the room and said here's one for your why list, why is it so f'ing difficult for you to change the toilet roll.

Chele
xx

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

IVF and Ignorant Comments

I was moved to write this post when a friend on twitter (@babyhopeivf) mentioned that people in her office were discussing the news on IVF today that the age limit is being raised from 39 to 42 for women to have access to IVF on the NHS.

The discussion was along the lines of, the world is already overpopulated why bring more people into it. Sadly ignorant comments such a this I have heard all to often over the last few years. This is an ignorant statement not only because sometimes people need to have IVF to have a child due to infertility but also - if they are going to have cancer treatment so they can preserve their fertility, are unable to have intercourse i.e. if they have a physical disability and same sex couples who want a family.

Who are these ignorant people to decide who is allowed to have children. Well, if you want to go down that road.....

They wouldn't be saying this is they were in this situation desperate to be a family or if they had to witness the pain and heartache of someone they love going though it.

I guess us IVF folks see it from the another perspective. We see people popping kids out left right and centre when they can't take care of them or wont take care of them. People who have them and then abuse them. Who have unprotected sex daming the consequences and the children are put into care. Drug abusers who's children are born addicted and need to be weaned off a substance. I could go on.

My opinion may be controversial but I would hazzard a guess that anyone going through countless medications, tests, invasive procedures, heartache and loss to have a child would have suffered these thoughts on many occasion. Watching Jeremy Kyle (I wont watch it) and witnessing these "I have 5 children and I don't know who any of the fathers are" , "had a bunk up behind a bus stop with the bloke who runs the chippie and his wife found out and now I'm preggo"

Well, it gets to you. Oh and don't even get me started on the "having a baby is a privillage not a rite" posse. Yes it is a privilege but why should we be denied trying to achieve it. Would you even think this if you were in our shoes?

No one who has a reasonable chance of conceiving should be denied the chance to have a family. Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Sunday, May 13, 2012

IVF: Our Four Year Wedding Anniversary

Today is our four year Wedding Anniversary. It is so bittersweet and I am struggling with such a range of emotions right now that I thought I would try to put it into words, as I am sure that many others on the IVF roller coaster must feel like this too.

On one hand I am so happy and grateful for what we do have and cannot believe that it has been four years already. I am so happy that I found the love of my life and married such an amazing man. It hasn't always been easy, especially on this IVF journey but I am so glad we are making it though and I do believe we are stronger for all our trials.

Through all the hard times that have faced us, the joy of getting pregnant on our first ICSI cycle to the miscarriage, to the failure of our second cycle, my love for Andy has not waned. In fact I would say that I love him all the more for it as this journey is showing me just how strong and supportive Andy is. His patience, strength, love and support never ceases to amaze me. Had we not been though this would I ever truly have known just how wonderful he is? Have these testing times just resulted to prove the strength of our love? Believe me, I do think about this every day and for these reasons and that I have this wonderful man by my side I feel loved, I love and I am happy.

On the other hand today is also filled with so much sadness. Four years ago today we stood side by side in a beautiful garden in Mauritius and said our vows. On that day we were filled with so much excitement as to what our future held and we could not wait to start our family. On this day four years ago I threw away my contraceptive pill and had butterflies of anticipation in my tummy just thinking of the day when a pregnancy test would show positive and how wonderful it would feel to tell Andy he was going to be a daddy. I wasn't too naive to think that only a month or so of "trying" and boom - positive test. But after a year of disappointment each month I knew something had to be wrong and well, if you have read my post "our story so far", you know what brings us to where we are today.

I look back at our wedding photos and again my emotions conflict, from "wow, that was so amazing" and "I can't believe that was four years ago" to "we had no idea we would be in this situation", we were so happy and excited then and had no idea of the pain we would be facing. Sometimes it just hurts to look at our smiling faces in the photos and remember what it was like to not feel this much pain. Sometimes I think I would just love to go back to that even for a day when we were just Chele and Andy and not an infertile couple.

So as I sit here at 5am having been kept awake all night by these thoughts racing through my brain and struggling desperately to articulate them I am willing the happier side to win. Today we will celebrate our marriage, we will celebrate our love for each other and the strength we have found that we never knew we had. We will be grateful that we are together in this journey and that we have the courage to keep pushing through it as we are only still on this journey because we want to be on it together, working towards our dream. Despite everything, we still believe we can make our dream a reality. It is just taking us longer to get there, but we will get there.

Together we can make this dream come true and I hope and pray that this time next year I will be writing a completely different story at 5am because, instead of my restless mind, our baby is keeping me awake.

Wednesday, May 02, 2012

You couldn't eat this much veg in one meal..... Juice It!

I have liked juicing and making smoothies for a few years now but I guess as part of my Let's Get Healthy mission I am taking it a bit more seriously these days. Inspired by some of my friends on Twitter, TheDrGinger and Jason Vale I have really jumped into juicing over the last couple of months. I love vegetables anyway, especially green veg and I do eat veg at lunch and dinner but by juicing them I can consume so much more in just one sitting then I could in one day. Some of my friends have said they don't eat this much veg in 3 days! There is so much goodness in vegetables and I want to get the best from it without having to munch like a rabbit for hours every day. I made my favourite green juice today and thought I would take this opportunity to share it with you.

I used the following ingredients which made approximately 1.5 pints of juice:

3 stalks of celery
4 handfuls of spinach
Half a large Rommaine lettuce
Half of a very large cucumber
3 small apples
A quarter of a fennel bulb
2 handfuls of broccoli
Half a lemon

I don't have any "rules" when it come to juicing. I buy a lot of fruit and vegetables each week and just mix it up a bit depending on what I fancy or what is left in the fridge at the time, for example last week I had some melon that needed to be used up so I bunged a bit of that in there to sweeten and compliment the green veg. It was yummy! I am sure that when I have been having my glasses of green juice a day I feel more energised and my skin is clearer so they are definite benefits, it also helps that it tastes yummy!

I often put in a capful of Aloe Vera juice which I buy from Holland and Barrett. Aloe Vera is good for your digestive tract, aids your immune system, is a pain reliever and reduces inflammation. I have also been taking Chlorella and Spirulina supplements. These have countless benefits but I have heard of people taking it whilst doing IVF so I thought I would start getting it in my system for my next cycle. It helps with vitality too so that's always good!

Obviously I am not a nutritionist but I am just trying something that I feel may work for me and I do research supplements before I start taking them. I like to juice my veg but if I fancy a sweet treat or sometimes for a yummy weekend breakfast I will make a fruit smoothie. Banana, strawberry and date is a favourite in this house but I will save a smoothie post for another time. My next plan is to order Jason Vale's iPad app or book "Loose 7lbs in 7 days". I have heard a lot of great things about this and some of my friends have followed the plan. So I am looking forward to that week crammed with lots and lots of veg! I will keep you posted on how that goes.

Now I'm off to enjoy my pint!

Take care everyone Chele Xxx

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

IVF: People have asked me.....

People have asked me in the past if you really want children this much, what if you find out that it's not going to happen even with the IVF would you leave Andy? They have said that if the difficulty was with their husband they don't think they could stay. That they would find someone else to have their future with. I have friends that whilst having all the tests had said that they hope their is something wrong with them as they don't know if they could stay if it was their husbands. This is not an option for me. Yes I do want children with all my heart, I do want to be a mum and hold and love and nurture our child. To watch Andy be the amazing dad that i know he will be. In fact I cant see a future without children but I want this WITH my husband. Yes it tears me apart every day and I worry about it constantly. It's heartbreaking and soul destroying. It's biggest challenge we as individuals and our relationship has ever faced. All we can do is love eachother, be kind to eachother, be patient with eachother as we process our feelings and heal our hearts at each setback. We have to hope, be healthy and do the IVF. Because being without my Andy is not an option either.

I'm so excited/nervous to start my blog....

It seems apt that I should start my blog on the first day of National Infertility Awareness Week. Well it is in the Us. I am in the UK but a lot of my friends from YouTube are in the US. Do we have anything like this in the UK? I will have to look into it. So, this is my first random blog post, if you are reading this you may well have read the story so far and seen the live version of events in my videos. I'm more nervous about writing than I was recording videos! I hope you will join me on our journey. If I have learnt one thing from my YouTube channel, it's that friends and support goes a long way. It helps just knowing you are not alone. I will give an honest real time account of the onward journey of our, so far, 4 year roller coaster that is infertility and IVF and I'm happy to help answer any questions you may have (if I can!). I will be upfront about my thoughts and feelings. As with my videos I will throw in some random/ fun stuff along the way, make up videos, product reviews, videos of our little dogs and some fun TAG videos or anything else you would like to see. Well, it's gone midnight, I'm excited about my blog but I must put it down and get some sleep. Baby dust to you! Chele Xxx

Monday, April 23, 2012

Our Story So Far.....

Andy and I married in May 2008. We immediately began trying for a baby. We tried naturally for about a year with no success so I went to the GP for tests. I had blood tests and they all came back ok. The GP would not test anything further with me until they ruled out any problems with Andy by doing a semen analysis. It took some months to convince Andy to go for tests, he has since said that he was delaying it as he was so worried about the outcome. Andy's results came back showing there was 0 sperm in his semen. This condition is known as Azoospermia. They then performed an ultrasound on Andy. We were told at this point that we would not be able to have children together, this was devastating. Meanwhile I had a HSG, where dye is flushed through the fallopian tubes to check for blockages. This came back fine, We were then referred for IVF in September 2010. We had various consultations and were due to start IVF in November/December 2010. We went to our co-ordination appointment and at this point were told that Andy tested positive as being a carrier for Cystic Fybrosis and that this would most likely be the cause of his Azoospermia, non-obstructive Azoospermia. The IVF cycle was then put on hold as they had to test me for Cystic Fybrosis. If both partners carry the gene there is a high risk of their child having Cystic Fybrosis. This was a worrying time as this could have meant again that we wouldnt be able to proceed with the IVF due to the high risk factor if I was also a carrier. I had a blood test and we waited two weeks for the results, thankfully I was not showing as a carrier. They only check 23 parts of the gene as there are hundreds of different mutations but they considered us low risk as it suggested I didn't carry the gene. They concluded then also that Andy's Azoospermia was attributed to the absence of the Vas Defrens. We were given the go ahead to proceed with IVF. On 14th February 2011 Andy had a surgical sperm retrieval proceedure, hoping they could find some sperm to freeze so that we could have the IVF. They found loads!!! This was the best news ever!!! I started my Buserelin injections for our first cycle on 28th April 2011. for our first cycle on 28th April 2011. We had one blastocyst transferred as we were only allowed to have one on our first cycle. Early June, the result was in. We were pregnant! We were so happy I cannot put it into words. This happiness soon ended when at 9 weeks we went for a scan and were told that there was no heartbeat and that we had a missed miscarriage and that I would imminently miscarry. 2 weeks later and the miscarriage still hadn't happened so we opted for medical management. This resulted in an incomplete miscarriage and I ended up having to have a d&c at 14 weeks in August 2011. We had various check ups etc and in November I was told that's there we're adhesions from the d&c and that I needed to have them removed before we proceeded with another cycle. I had a procedure to remove the adhesions in December 2011. We started cycle number 2 in February 2012. After 2 weeks on Buserelin they discovered I had a cyst on my left ovary which had to be removed before I could move on to the Gonal-f. The cyst was removed and then everything seemed to be going ok. I had my egg collection on 19th march 2012 and they collected 16 eggs. On 20th march the hospital called to say that 4 of the 16 had fertilised (we had ICSI with both cycles). They said that they would call me back on Thursday 22nd to let me know progress and whether the transfer would be on the Friday or Saturday. They called me on 22nd to say that unfortunately all of the embryos had stopped developing. Again our world was shattered. Andy and I went on holiday to have some time together and regroup and gain some strength to do it again. We came back from holiday last Thursday 5th April and I'm currently awaiting and appointment with the hospital to review the cycle and see what happens next. Please follow our journey and please contact me if you have any questions, I am always happy to help. Babydust to everyone!! Chele xxxx